Ryan Jacks (theprivate_ryan) wrote in omni_phase,
Ryan Jacks

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My First Time - Locked

My first time is now available on closed circuit video. It’s been the subject of jokes and made me the joke of New York City.

Look, I don’t give a fuck what those two faced cunts that put me down think. They all have shit between their ears, the fucking hypocrites. I care what Lexi thinks, and I care what Frankie thinks.

Lexi? Totally fucking clueless about it. Like he would even know that a girl’s first time isn’t supposed to be about revenge or anger. But I’m not mad. Yeah, I didn’t know why he wanted me. I actually was fucking stupid enough to think I was this hot, cute, sexy little shit. I was stupid. That’s not his fault.

Frankie? He was there for the party and the pussy. It’s that simple. But let’s face it, I could have been any piece of young ass. Later, we got to be…*shrugs*…friends? I guess. But that night his mind was on Lexi, and Lexi’s mind was on Grandaddy Jacks.

It was good. I guess. But it wasn’t something I’d ever tell my kids. I don’t want Lizzie to know. She thinks I’m cool. I’d like to be cool in someone’s eyes. That’d be nice.

If she asks me, I’ll tell her that I met this guy, and he took me out to dinner. We went dancing, and then we went for a walk in the park, or on the beach. We talked for hours about stuff we liked and thought. And then, after a respectable time, he took me to The Plaza, and laid me down in soft sheets with rose petals. And when he looked in my eyes, and kissed me, I was beautiful. And even though we don’t see each other anymore, he never forgot me. And when I think about that night, I still feel beautiful…and desirable. Special. Pretty. Sexy. Human. Real…


It’s a pretty lie. But I think I can pull it off. But it’s just for her…cuz, me? I don’t give a fuck.

Ryan Jacks
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